Listening Skills You Must Master to Win an Argument

Argumentative Illustration. Photo: Pexels/George Milton.

Have you ever found yourself in an argument? In its simplest form, argumentation refers to the reasoning used to strengthen or reject a particular opinion, stance, or idea.

In daily life, many individuals struggle to articulate their arguments effectively, leading to their opinions being overlooked or their arguments falling flat. If you want your arguments to be heard and accepted by a broader audience, it’s crucial to hone your argumentation skills. Those who excel in arguments not only speak well but are also adept listeners.

Having strong listening skills enhances your credibility and makes your statements more convincing. This is because individuals who actively listen to others are often viewed as more credible, making it more likely that their own views will be respected.

Unfortunately, many people find it challenging to practice effective listening skills. Most get distracted easily or feel compelled to interrupt others to present their own arguments. As a result, such individuals frequently find their opinions disregarded and struggle to win arguments. This emphasizes the importance of sharpening your listening skills.

According to Mehdi Hasan, a British-American journalist, in his book Win Every Argument: The Art of Debating, Persuading, and Public Speaking, there are two key types of listening skills you must master to succeed in argumentation.

Curious to learn more? Here are two types of listening skills you should develop if you want to win arguments:

Critical Listening

Critical listening is a skill that requires absorption, understanding, and evaluation of the information presented by your conversation partner in real-time. This type of listening necessitates that you refrain from quickly believing what your counterpart says. However, you should also avoid cutting them off prematurely.

Instead, focus on listening attentively and assessing statements while pondering questions such as, "Is this statement true or false?" "Does this make sense?" and "Can I trust what I just heard?" To optimize this skill, consider the following three strategies:

1. Keep an Open Mind

A crucial element in winning arguments is to avoid instantaneously assuming that everything the other person says is wrong. On the contrary, you should strive to remain open-minded.

This approach allows you to evaluate both your opponent's strengths and weaknesses, as well as your own. However, ensure that you maintain confidence, so that once the discussion concludes, you can effectively respond to the pivotal points made.

2. Stay Focused

During a debate, it’s vital to remain fully engaged. Losing focus can undermine your credibility, leaving your arguments vulnerable to dismissal, which could result in defeat.

Thus, concentrate on listening carefully when your counterpart speaks. Afterward, prepare yourself to deliver impactful responses to enhance your chances of winning the argument.

3. Take Notes

Engaging in critical listening can sharpen your thinking skills and improve memory retention. Practically, this means balancing critical listening with jotting down notes during the discussion. This way, you can offer a more informed argument and significantly increase your chances of winning.

Empathetic Listening

The second critical skill to master for successful argumentation is empathetic listening. This empathetic approach focuses on connecting with your conversation partner through understanding their perspective. The goal of this skill is to center your attention on their viewpoints so you can comprehend the essence of their words.

Here are two valuable strategies to employ when aiming to listen with empathy:

1. Make Eye Contact

Making eye contact is one of the most effective ways to exhibit empathy and create an emotional connection. Research on public speaking reveals that listeners tend to trust speakers who maintain eye contact more than those who divert their gaze.

2. Ask the Right Questions

Asking questions during an argument can enliven the discussion and enhance the overall exchange. However, it’s crucial to pose the right questions to keep the conversation flowing.

Ensure that you opt for open-ended questions rather than closed ones. Open-ended questions elicit personal responses and require more consideration, leading to deeper discussions that allow you to listen more effectively to your counterpart’s arguments and prepare your responses intelligently.

Above are the two essential listening skills that you should master to excel in argumentation. Are you ready to put these strategies to the test?